i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
