I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
