apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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