Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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