Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
