Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
