wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
