My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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