It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
