So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
