I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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