i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
