I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
