I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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