Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
