Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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