she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
