3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
