And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
