I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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