That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
