What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize