she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My dick has a subreddit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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