Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
