R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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