normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it's like iHOP with fire
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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