What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am one with the molecules
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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