I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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