I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
