If that was your dad, he is hot
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize