2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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