it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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