the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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