I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
