fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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