Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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