If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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