I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
