C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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