Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
