Ketchup is God's man juice
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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