Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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