How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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