ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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