I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
