I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
