i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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