I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
