i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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