I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize