Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
one two three fourrrrnication!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
