I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize