Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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