I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
