My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
