Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize