you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
