Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
