Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
