please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
