Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
dude i'm inner monologue high
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
