Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
