she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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