she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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