you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
