I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm both gender and math confused
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
