saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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