I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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