What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
