I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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