She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
