Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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