First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
