Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
