She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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