Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
