I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
