I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
