In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize